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Monday, December 9, 2013


this is one flower. from our backyard.It is called more pankhi(the,peacock feather)

Off and on, inwardly, doubts, uncertainties and allied dilemmas of everyday living overwhelm the mind. Retrospection and introspection give no relief. The internal upheaval whisks away repose and happiness.The passage of time does not heal the pain of muted hurts. Regrets also now and then ruffle the mind. Negativity homes in with a defeatist attitude and snubs drive and enthusiasm.  Most of the times, the thinking mind’s inner voice butts in at the opportune time and stops the onslaught of jumbled and incoherent thoughts. It goes for a middle path between subjectivity and rationality.

Thereafter the realization dawns, about the futility of digging the past or crying over spilt milk. Slowly the flow of the stream of consciousness wakes up to the  reality of the present, for health and well-being.

Ironically, thinking beings keep wrestling with such emotional phases occasionally.  Our inherent sensitivities dare to walk over the razor’s edge and bleed easily in the process.

Now in my golden years, mind’s machete stabs me into the awareness of emptiness of life. This brings unease and boredom. The danger of becoming self-centric looms large. Further deliberations; boil down to the need of finding some definite and fulfilling purpose in life.   Many questions and many responses strike the grey matter. Invariably the answer comes - You have played your innings as best as you could. Why have any regrets? Yes, true, If only I could rein in the basic premise epitomized in-   “I think therefore I am” ‘Cogito ergo sum.’ Everybody knows how merciless this psychic state is. The thinking wand of the mind leaves no escape route.  The internal critic, your conscience deprives you of the bliss of ignorance.

Slowly, the inner soliloquy -the voice of sanity resurrects the buried good sense. It takes center stage. It reminds you to be proactive and keep at bay the satanic hold of the absurd, melancholia and cynicism.  This entails determination to ensure mental and physical wellness. Moreover, only discipline and sense of purpose lead to a path of healthy self- renewal. 

For me it lies in pursuing my writing passion. Paradoxically it gives me the thrill of an enduring purpose and the bittersweet pain of ensuring flow of inspiration. It is like, you take it or you leave it. It is rocky but you enjoy it. It defines you in your own mind. It makes you feel empowered to articulate your worldview in the blogosphere. When it is derailed, that is the time when misgivings and annoying pricks intrude.   The only alternative is to stop feeding the bug and be mired in nothingness. What an option! Ha ha ha! Can one do it? Obviously not. Here one sweats but there are joys and rainbow moments too.

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”
Eleanor Roosevelt

BTW don't you agree that the beauty of the above flower has the power to dispel all doubts?


  1. I once did a post on this flower and like you said it always reminds me of our complex brain. So good to know that writing is your passion now.
    This was a good read.

  2. Thanks Indrani ! I consider brain to be a fathomless and an acutely complex entity. The quest to understand it'll, I think go for ever.

  3. I agree with the main idea here. It would perhaps be much better to be a unthinking mind

  4. Food (and flower) for thought! Good one!

  5. Sir Tuk Tuk, the unthinking mind may be better for a very short time but it'll make man no better than a stone i.e. unresponsive and unaware.

  6. Hi Beloo,
    Thanks for coming and a nice comment.

  7. Hi Paresh, Thanks. Thoughts are wondrous, rich and generate in the mind with infinite variations. That is the beauty of the thinking mind.

  8. it always takes me a few reads to understand your posts fully, or may be i just love to read them a few times. 'The internal critic, your conscience deprives you of the bliss of ignorance.' - exceptional. as a matter of fact, each line is exceptional in this post.

    i have never seen this flower before. amazing!

  9. Thanks so much Deb. It took me several days to come to the final draft of this post. I wanted the expression to meet my thoughts. The writing process keeps drifting from highs lows and back.

    Yes, this flower is not common.I got a tiny sapling growing wild outside my house. I planted it in my backyard. It grew and produced wonderful flowers.

  10. Thanks aliasgarmukhtiar for your support !