JUDGING OTHERS VIS-A VIS JUDGING ONESELF

"The happiest people I know are evaluating and improving themselves. The unhappy people are usually evaluating and judging others."

Don’t you think it would be a lot proper to judge oneself rather than others? Evidently, judging others is entertaining and doesn’t require any effort. I think it is also a transitory image upliftment. But judging oneself is like questioning one’s ego, which is something unpleasant, to say the least. Our sense of self acts as a thick-skinned obstructionist when faced with censure. It tries all sorts of excuses to thwart the critic inside and outside. However; one should realize that criticizing others without knowing them fully is not something to be appreciated.

On the other hand, a healthier option is learning to assess one’s own responses while interacting with others. In fact, such an evaluation can prove to be a means of personal upward growth and the makings of a better human being.

The Wise assert the need to devote some time at the end of the day to debate internally and do self-appraisal of the activities and impressions of that day. This practice if followed earnestly goes a long way in enhancing the good and eliminating the undesirable aspects of one's personality.

To start with, becoming conscious of one's day to day dealing with the world helps in gaining self-knowledge. For example, we face numerous situations, some of which can possibly annoy us a lot, and our reaction can be anger and loud talking. If you have made self-scrutiny a habit you’d automatically follow an approach, which is less emotional and more thoughtful i.e., your previous experiences in similar situations, would guard you against harmful rejoinders.

Here, I’ll share a specific example of learning to relate to house cleaners, gardeners and garbage collectors etc., where I live. I can vouch based on my experiences, how defensive these people get if pointed out about their deficient work. With all the twists and turns in their arguments, the blame would finally rest on the perceived instructions of the house owner. My tested conclusions teach me to never argue with these people as they act ultra-sensitive. Judging them is a futile exercise and counterproductive.

We live in a complex world. Judging or deriding others pollutes the mind.  To steer life in the right direction by adhering to one's core values is itself a matter of joy.

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