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Wednesday, February 18, 2015

WHITHER HUMAN TIES





F is for Furniture
You must be amused why I chose this starkly material, unimpressive and bland word to seriously deliberate upon.  Oh yes, there is a reason to it. In fact, it just happened without any effort on my part.  I was mulling over some words to kindle the creative fires for the next intellectual exercise to begin shortly. Something weird happened and that chose the word for me. Well, that also became the starting point of an inner debate. The resultant thought process took the shape of musings about human relationships.

 It was actually an ad on the TV about furniture. It concerned “Urban ladder”  a company selling furniture. I’ve even forgotten the channel where it was shown, otherwise I’d have captured it.  At that time, it did not occur to me that it might become the subject of my post. However, it did lead to the awareness of an unpleasant conclusion. How consumerism is belittling our most tender emotional states.  How blatantly and casually it targets the intensity  of our emotions, regarding our sacrosanct ties.
The advertisement shows a passive looking young woman with pursed lips, a strange sadness  enveloping her countenance, moving away from the kitchen counter stirring a mug of tea/coffee and perches on the sofa. Her husband /partner enters with a bag in his hand, or perhaps he is already there. While in the act of zipping the bag he says, “Does it mean that we can’t even talk?” suggests that they are parting ways and the man has come to collect some essentials. The woman says, “Take away the sofa as you brought/bought it. His answer is, “You liked it,” while sitting on the sofa and inching towards her. The message: sofa becomes a point of reconciliation.

This projection of the stability of human ties, needing the crutches of material possessions,  raise some pertinent questions. Have human relationships degenerated into abysmal fickleness that a piece of furniture could make or mar a bond? Folks, where are we heading? How foolish the claims that one’s spouse/partner is one’s soul-mate? How frustrating it is to believe that phrases like understanding, love and care are just so many words and don’t reflect reality. What about the vows we utter sanctimoniously when we forge a union. How come, we behave childishly, throw tantrum, and indulge in prestige fights soon after. The pillars of trust and love  evaporate like soap bubbles and no efforts are undertaken to retrieve the lost ground.  We turn into imbecile, selfish wimps and raise our hands at the slightest discomfiture to our ego.

In the conflict of personalities, we tend to forget that to sustain a relationship, there is a good measure of give and take and above all, tons of patience. The option of second or third try at it does not guarantee stability, peace or loyalty. The second option need to be exercised only when the bond can’t be retrieved at any cost.

Furthermore, in the short journey of ours, we as thinking beings are supposed to enrich others and our lives with clear-cut goals. How can we do that if we spend our valuable time in squabbles, which ultimately solve nothing and only increase the chasm and hatred? Imagine the impact on the overall family structure!

I could not agree more with the words of ANTHONY ROBBINS when he says:

“Most people get into relationship in order to get something. However, the only way a relationship will last is, if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not to take.”

We must understand that experience and observation have proved  that life is not about only song and dance, eating out and splurging on unnecessary travel. It is a holy voyage of self-discovery meant to contribute and give back to society, which has blessed us with opportunities to achieve something every day. Isn't it that every morning is a new day waiting to be explored?

10 comments:

  1. Hari OM
    **applause**... succinct and meaningful! YAM xx

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  2. This was a wonderful, thoughtful piece, Uppal, that commented not only on furniture, but also on being faithful to the relationships we engage in, to enter them with the intent of making them work rather than seeing them as something to quickly be cast aside over trivial matters. I wince when I hear people say that all marriages have arguments. I disagree, I think they do not have to, we can have differences, but we can also mediate them peacefully and maintain a loving home environment. Anger, hostility, and resentment never make things better, they leave scars on the heart. I love your quote by Anthony Robbins, and I agree with it entirely! If my motivation is to enhance your life, then hopefully you will do the same for me!

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  3. Uppaljee, loved your analogy of relationship with furniture. So apt and it makes me wonder how fragile we are :)

    Thanks for the linkup with your gyaan!
    namaste!

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  4. When companions become furniture!

    Beautifully presented!

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  5. Furniture freakiness1
    I am not swayed by Flippery,
    I just like cozy Furniture,
    I am not swayed by Fashion trends.

    Best wishes,
    From,
    Di, ABCW team.
    I like lie almost Flat in my recliner when I'm Flicking through a

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  6. Meant to say ...'Flicking through a favourite novel ! (Oops)

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  7. so true about the relationships..
    that where the problems start when we want and want more


    Bikram's

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  8. That's a clever ad, especially irf you remember the brand name!

    ROG, ABCW

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  9. Words of wisdom here and the act of giving is so satisfying because of the pleasure and love it produces both for the recipient and for the giver because they have created something beautiful.

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  10. Very insightful. It seems there is a tendency to treat belongs better than people. It is important to remember that love is not a passive verb..

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