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Wednesday, July 1, 2015

I YEARN FOR SELF DISCOVERY



Image the Internet





'Y' is for 'Yearning'

Yearning is an uncanny entity. It is forever changeable and problematic.

Here is a brief critique in the lighter vein.

During childhood, my yearning was for ceaseless play. Dear mother’s frantic calls for food and water were sweet cajoling to the ears that went unheard. Skipping, hot spot, hide and seek and other girly activities were the things that mattered. Dirty hands and soiled clothes were never an issue. The frenzy of playing games with friends of the neighborhood occupied every minute of the evenings. Actually, mind was in a sleeping mode and instincts were the rulers. This period can be likened to ‘Paradiso Eden’ of our first parents Adam and Eve before they committed that tragic error.

As the growth graph went upward, the intent of my yearning transformed itself to love, terribly engrossing chatting sessions with friends either while going to school in a group of four or five and later during college days sitting in the college lawns during free periods. How we lapped up the mischievous sharing of bits of knowledge, punctuated with giggles or shocking expressions of disbelief in gleeful exaggerated sounds. However, this period of curiosity ran parallel to the consciousness of the situation and the need to study and do well in exams.

This track ended after a grueling period in college and the university. After this, I’s ready to enter the job market and joined the teaching profession. My appointment was in a co-educational college away from home. The usual difficulties and a whole lot of sweet and sour experiences followed. I felt it to be an integral part of growing up.

By then  my marriage had become the focal point of my parents’ concerns. I was neutral and also very busy in my work. Times were different. No technological  distractions then. No internet to browse. No mind polluting elements. Very protected innocent life with simple desires.

Soon after, I married a highly educated, very intelligent University teacher who had obtained his Ph.D. degree  from abroad. The event altered the course of my preferences. New responsibilities of many hues and colors shifted the priorities of my yearnings. There were huge, demands on my resilience. I yearned for unconditional love and respect of the parents’ variety, which of course was like going for the stars. However, there were enough blissful moments and dreamy interludes, which compensated the heartaches and sob stories.

Later, my yearning moved to making our children study well and become good human beings. It was the toughest part bringing them up. Now that they are settled, my yearning has mellowed down.

Over the years, a lot of traveling remained the important part of our life. None of this, I yearn for anymore. Not that I don’t like it but because of the hazards of traveling, when your health refuses to endure the travails. However, short visits by car or by taxis are the preferred choice with some exceptions here and there.

Now I yearn for peace and serenity to carry on delving into the mysterious recesses of the creative process. I’ve reduced my social circle to the minimal. I yearn for dialogue and can’t take bragging and insipid monologues, which sadly is the order of the day. It was to happen. I don’t mind it at all.  Time has become a very valuable commodity for me these days.

The cyber world comraderies I cherish now.

Another thing, which keeps the alarm bells pricking my grey cells, is the war torn and hatred-ridden world. I yearn for world peace and an end to violence.

I find it difficult to sit through TV debates where all I witness is slanging matches and sickening volubility.  Watching serials even for brain dead entertainment is nauseating. I yearn for programs, which make some sort of sense.

Now, I yearn for good health for both of us. Some health issues are proving bothersome already. Limitations and restrictions are entering the arena of our life.

Well, I take life as an exploratory journey into joyous valleys and risky terrains. For thinking minds, self-discovery will remain a challenge and a source of inspiration. 

Friends,welcome here as always!

4 comments:

  1. Yearning makes life more worth it don't you think

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  2. Hari OM
    this was a pocket bio - wonderful! YAM xx

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  3. I SURELY yearn for peace!

    ROG, ABCW

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  4. What a beautiful read. And one with which I can identify as the years shrink our worlds. Peace to you.

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